Last Summer

September 26, 2008

i am a large cell with a petite human frame

im an engulfing cell, that doesn't bloat at all.

im in such extremes. either i indulge in too much sleeping especially when i'm dead tired, or guilty of too much food intake (bumabawi kapag kulang sa tulog.) it's only a matter of compensation right? guilty pleasures. well at least those ain't exactly earthly vices. tama ba?

but i really think that my body's working mechanism is so fast that it forgets to give me a little gain in my weight.

for those who know me, who grew up with me. you know how much i love eating especially way back in riyadh. tween, right? midnight burger meals during sleep overs, prepared by mom and/or dad with love. the never-ending orders of kabsa and shawarma as the day ends. i used to weigh 48 or 49 when i left riyadh, but when i got here, after first year of college. my weight played between 43-44 nalang. i realized that i wasn't burning calories way back in riyadh. hindi pinapawisan pag gumalaw ng gumalawa and besides, mababa ang humidity level, or basically wala pa nga ata.

ask meow, zelle, iris, val...im like a live-refrigerator or stock room. i rarely come to school without anything to munch in my bag. it has always been like that. besides, what are you to do in a 3-hour class? if you're lucky enough to be entertained by the lesson, you'll realize that 3-hours was fleeting. also, i have to admit, sitting in class listening and constantly using your brain, is way tiresome...kadalasang nakakagutom.

maybe some systems are made to be like mine. wants some tobleron? kambal i know you're reading this. speaking of our manly burping moments, haha. i love you!

it's 11:23 AM now

September 24, 2008

two weeks left

i get this "senior dilemma" each day i wake up.

the fact that only one sem's left and we'll be out in the real world, i would have to admit that i cannot understand the emotions i get whenever people say, "wow, malapit na, madali lang yan." it's overwhelming yeah, knowing that we're here and we've gone through a lot. and yes, we're seniors. but honestly, it's not really all about that.

tama si joycee, habang palapit ang closing ng first semester, the more we lose the motivation to attend classes. let's face it, sa dami ng pinapagawa, tapos nagpapa-class pa, you end up staying in a class with pile of thoughts floating over your head, mostly "the to-do list" prior finals week. i have to admit, i cannot give my full attention in class lately. i've been thinking of a lot of things, deadlines, household, me, etc. c'mon not all of us have the same kind of life. if not, i'd end up texting or dealing with more important things (like during the time when we had to close all deals for the acquaintance event), or chatting with my seatmate, or even passing notes, eating, and most of all, probably falling asleep (guilty pleasure). i don't have 100% of my attention in class, that's the truth. it's because i'm bothered by other important matters. don't get me wrong, my education means a lot to me, but what i meant with "more important matters" is on how i would end my day accomplishing every thing that's supposed to be given attention. maybe what i need is something striking, one-off, that would happen to break my monotonous life.

whenever i lay down to sleep, i can see my tomorrow's script. it's like every day's the same. there's nothing new, most of what will happen to you soon as you wake up is expected. but every thing still seem's to be fresh. let me give you this situation, which happens every time, the 2-weeks-from-now-paper-due-on-Literary-Criticism. Ma'am LitCrit gives us a topic for our five-page litcrit essay, and she would set the deadline two weeks from the day she give the topic. but since, we're busy with too many things, and time passes by swiftly. you'll realize that two weeks isn't really "oh we still have more time for that." two weeks is like the day after tomorrow.

i'm being honest here, i know that it's only one semester away but i hate this feeling - getting fed up and craving for idle moments. it's not productive, i know. but what the heck, cut my hair (which never grew really long anymore right after second year college) if it's only me who feels this.

but trying to place myself an unemployed after March, somehow i would still love to spend more time in the university. (hahaha!) gahd, why does it have to be like this. im beginning to procrastinate when i'm almost reaching the end.

there's really something wrong. i know that only i can make the move to put a difference in my life. but what the heck.

the bored niccolo, still biting his nails.

obviously, meow and i were bored.

it's 7:50 PM now

September 23, 2008

sir eros' let out.

at dahil nagulantang nanaman ang gabi ko sa nag-iisang klase namin tuwing lunes, ang Filipino Journalism, buhay na buhay pa ang diwa ko na ilagay ito dito.

sir eros atalia's let out:

bakit kelangan ng mga mayayaman ang hekta-hektaryang lupain para lang maglaro ng golf? pwede naman nila ibigay nalang sa mahihirap para may matirhan sila!

ippuwesto mo sa isang lugar ung golf ball, tapos papaluin mo ng pagkalayo-layo, tapos pupuntahan mo kung saan napunta ang bola at papaluin uli at paulit ulit ka pa nyan! mukha kayang tanga? bakit kaya hindi maglagay ng bote ng coke tapos magshoot ka ng bola doon, o kaya, maliit na crumpled paper?! di naman obvious na galit ako sa mga mayayaman di ba?

at ang chess, hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit sya considered as sports, e kasi it involves the mind and body daw? o c'mon, nag-eexert ka ba ng lakas para buhatin ang susunod na galaw mo? pansinin nyo, walang commentator sa laro ng chess, dahil nga sa dami ng posibleng galaw ng bawat panig. "ano kaya ang sunod na galaw niya, ang ...ba...kaya...o ang...ba? (sa bagay kung tuwing babanggitin mo lahat ng posible maging galaw tuwing matapos ang isa, e oras ang aabutin, ubos ang laway!)

"fuck!"

may punto, may punto.

it's 1:13 AM now

September 22, 2008

adventure part 1: laguna

oath no.1: walang iwanan sa chibugan

no.2: Po-pose kahit saan,

mapa-jeep

[ ang panalong linya ni jhasper rayos, "are we there yet?" at
ang turtle-"neck" na bag na puno ng pagkain
na pati lambanog hindi palalagpasing bitbitin ]

"steps" ng simbahan

[ ang hindi pinapalagpas na "pag-wish" sa pag-apak sa simbahan ]

sa pila ng ATM, siyempre di pwedeng
walang baong bala.

[ ang pagpupumilit kong mag-withdraw sa BPI habang may
natutulog na homeless ]

mapa-pwesto ng traffic enforcer

[ ang walang sawang pagpapahiya sa sarili ]

kahit sa di kumukupas na si jollibee

[ the child in me ]

sa van

[ pagpipilitang isama ang lahat sa shot ]

no. 3: act the way you exactly are,
who cares, you're a tourist anyway! *chos*

[kevin: wag kayo tumingin! ]

it's 11:32 AM now

September 17, 2008

random thoughts

why is it that of all people, Filipinos are hard to deal with *no offense to everyone and even to myself, though im not REALLY generalizing here* why is it that it’s hard to scrutinize what they’re saying. we have the filipino yes and ill try. geezes. they can make a lot out of something. though one thing (both good and bad) is that yeah “madiskarte” and Pinoy, but it doesnt apply to everything at all times.

it just pisses me off that the person you expect to understand you suddenly fails is even the first who would fail you. in our days, it’s really difficult to recognize those who stay in your life whether they are there for a good purpose or not. and in a place like Manila, screw trust and crown hypocrisy. it’s easy and complicated at the same time, dealing with people you really know.

this is why sometimes i tend to just sit back, alone and try to look at how the lives around me go. dont get me wrong,i have friends whom ive know even before i became familiar with the primary colors. but sometimes life is more at peace when you have yourself and one can always bring out the best in him whenever you get in touch with life’s beauty.

it's 5:17 PM now

slack

after months of preparation for the acquaintance night together with tough demands on papers, finally the event was successful and now, i think i deserve the rest. but right after getting a little well (going to acq with a fever), mon got sick. hindi ko siya nahawahan, pare-pareho kaming puyat sa mga trabaho.

i miss the idle moments, yeah my guilty pleasure. these past few days, everything is predictable, from waking up to having lunch and goin to school then going home back to paper works and finally, hitting the slack. geezes!

five months from now is judgment day. and im pulling all the positive forces to stand by me or better yet, let those positive forces fill me. next summer, everything will be about me. summer’s mine. i cannot wait! but for now, im gonna be a slacker coz next week hell day’s coming to visit us again. *cough*

it's 5:16 PM now